Just Think About It…

with many thanks to The Aged Cat for this poetry. GO HERE to read.

Au revoir, March!

Today is the last day of March. That’s not meant as ‘information’ but more of an ‘I can’t BELIEVE it is the Last day of March!’ Time steps along.

At work, it was kind of a bit of a lull, stirred with only a few waves of activity. I even left around 6.

The weather was not lamblike — it was gray gray GRAY, and the morning’s fog was more like tiny crystals, wet enough to require the wipers occasionally but not enough even on the lowest intermittent setting to avoid the scrrrreeeeeeeeek of a scrape of the wipers from time to time. Coming home this evening with the top down, it was still gray gray GRAY, but from somewhere there was a big ole beam of sunshine beating on me.

Chick decided today to cease writing her blog on her journey to have a child. It’s been 3 years and heartbreaking. Finances mean she’s indefinitely on hold with the journey, and it’s tough to keep playing on the playground of that TTC community. I am heartbroken for her.

Snowy’s meds were adjusted after her doctor visit last week. One more med that can no longer be helpful to her has been taken out of rotation. The med that the Pharmacy dallied on has been increased, and is never again to be missed, not even one dose. It seriously makes a difference.

Pearl’s intake of Pet Pectillin has done nothing to help her, and I hurt to see her withdrawing each day a little more. I wish there was SOMETHING that would cure her incessant chronic diarrhea. The other kitties do, too.

March has been full of things: Ides, St. Pat’s, Snowy’s 62nd Anniversary, Good Friday, Easter… things going well, things not going well, fear, hope, lots of love, many issues still unresolved…

April is ahead with what it can and will bring. The 1st is 20 years’ anniversary of a sad family tragedy, and can never again be a funny prankster day for me. The 15th is that dread day I still haven’t figured out how to solve (I long to breathe again). What else? We’ll see.

When did I become a “grown up” (-ish)

I’m not sure where that thought came from, but it is the one that hit me about 20 minutes ago when I finally exited the building at work. I walked out the front door for a change (usually go out the side) so I had a bit of a walk to get around to the little blue car.

It was so lovely — pleasant and spring-day-feeling, sun not yet dipping, neat little breeze blowing, and it just felt so good to be exiting and heading home and KNOWING it was Friday. Oh, wow, that’s a good feeling.

The windows at the office are all the mirrored tint so as the breeze was tossing my hair and I shook it to get it out of my eyes, I caught a glimpse of this old woman walking parallel with me.

Hmph. I knew it was me. I hate seeing the representation of actuality that is so different from the view I had of myself that I took from the mirror before I left home this morning. Then I looked so much more “stylish” and “cute” (I’m exaggerating) and like I had a clue. Out in the actual world? Not so much!

But, it’s okay. I’m a gray-headed old woman with a few inner tubes wrapped around the skinny red-head I once was.

I’ve never been a stylish dresser (except when Snowy dressed me, and she used to sew and tailor some gorgeous outfits, but got to the day when she declared she was “finis!”) so that’s not different.

Even as I saw Batgranny in the window marching with me, I had the random thought, when did I become a grown up? I don’t remember its happening. I was always younger than everyone I was around because I’d gone to / graduated from school early. I was never old enough to be taken seriously no matter how “smart” I was or how good my ideas were.

Now suddenly I’m not in that position, and I don’t remember crossing the bright, shining line that trips you as you get up and go over the hill.

It’s funny!